The Lizard: Why the Personal Journey Feels Uncomfortable

The Personal Journey is Often Uncomfortable

During a personal journey, you set out towards a destination, or goal, in order to experience personal growth. On this journey, you are taking deliberate action towards this destination.

(If you’ve missed it: Read the Introduction to the Personal Development Journey post.)

We may believe that working towards our dreams should feel effortless and we’ll never have any doubts. But this isn’t how the journey feels moment-to-moment. 

Sometimes, it feels confusing and messy. Sometimes, it feels like hard work, or like a struggle. 

When you start your journey, you may feel a burst of enthusiasm that will carry you for the first few weeks. But when that wears off, you are left with managing your mindset every day. The mindset work is the true key to success.

Let me repeat that, because it is so important:

Working on your mindset is the key to your success.

Meet the Lizard

Going on a personal journey forces you to change and grow. And part of your mind, your lizard brain, puts up resistance to the process. The ‘lizard brain’ is a colloquial term for your limbic system, the primitive part of your brain that just wants you to stay alive, and expend the least amount of energy to do so. 

A lizard may be content to spend their time perfectly still under a sun lamp, but we humans are capable of so much more. 

However, whenever we start putting yourself out there, our lizard brain becomes convinced that we are in danger.

The Lizard is a Companion on Your Journey

When we set out on our own personal journey, we quickly find that it feels unsettling or even scary. That is because the Lizard remains with us, no matter how far we go.

I like to think of the Lizard as one of our travel companions on the journey. Unfortunately, he is lazy and a downer, but likely, the Lizard will be there every step of the journey. So we have to make sure that the Lizard is never in charge of the journey, but remains the annoying guy in the back we become good at tuning out.

On a journey, we may spend time in a fog, in the Waste, or in a tunnel. Each situation comes with its own mindset challenges. It would be much easier to stay at home. It would be nice and warm. And the Lizard will remind you of this every step of the way. 

If the Lizard were in charge of the Journey, you would never get anywhere.

The Lizard will give you thoughts like:

• “You can do that tomorrow. Let’s watch one more Netflix episode.”

• “If I put myself out there, I’m putting myself in danger.”

• “It’s better to just blend in to avoid criticism and harm.”

The Lizard wants you to procrastinate and put off anything challenging. This is because the Lizard fears any change.

Taming the Lizard

In order to continue our journeys without giving in to the Lizard and stalling the journey, we must find ways to manage the discomfort. Here are some steps to take:

1. Acknowledge that the journey is uncomfortable and doesn’t feel good the whole time.

And let that be okay.

2. On your journey, whenever a feeling comes up, allow yourself to fully feel that emotion.

It is better to feel your emotions than to suppress them. Repressed emotions can lead to physical symptoms in your body, such as tension, exhaustion, and sleep troubles, to name a few. 

3. Don’t let the feelings stop you.

The feeling is just a feeling and cannot hurt you. Acknowledge the feeling, thank the Lizard for trying to protect you, and then move on. 

4. A thought from fear is not coming from you. It’s coming from the Lizard.

And the Lizard gets a lot of things wrong. A thought coming from fear is just an opinion, not the truth. We tend to worry about things that haven’t even happened yet, but this doesn’t serve us in the present moment. If we dwell on thoughts coming from the Lizard, we will likely feel overwhelmed.

4. Write down every negative thought that comes up. 

Having a list makes it actionable. Grab a notebook and write down the negative thoughts you are having about your journey. Leave plenty of space between each one. Then, under each thought, write a rebuttal that is grounded in loving encouragement rather than fear.

5. As you continue your journey and thoughts come up, refer back to your list. 

Is the thought on your list already? Then say “yes, thank you Lizard, but I’ve got that covered already.”

Is the thought a new one? Write it down and write your rebuttal.

This is a way to take back your power. The Lizard may be along for the journey, but it doesn’t run the show.

6. Take a break when you need to.

Remember that you can take a break any time the journey is becoming too much. You can go on a retreat and dedicate time to self-care and recovery. Your emotional well-being is crucial.

7. Take a small step each day.

Slow progress is still progress. With each small success, you will get better at quieting the Lizard.

Remember Why You are Going on a Personal Journey

We go on journeys to grow. We go on them to enjoy the new scenery and perspectives. It is gratifying to overcome challenges and see results in your life.

We go on journeys because the world needs people to show up and reach their potentials. When people are most fully themselves, others benefit. It inspires other people to be true to themselves as well. If you can create change in yourself, it creates change in the real world too.